So a brave soul shared with me that the post really hurt their feelings. I am so grateful that this person reached out because by now, I’ve removed myself from that post already. I got it off my chest because I just needed to get it out. But after re-reading the post……yeah let’s just say I’m about to go pull out some parts. Read the brave message I received:
“You say parents shouldn’t complain about being a parent, or that they’re tired, etc. 100% promise that no parent knew how hard parenting was going to be. Sometimes, we have to vent. We can’t keep it in. We’ll explode. Maybe there is more to it than I know [about the post] but I kind of got my feelings a little hurt. It’s kind of like, if you (anyone) choose an educational path, or a career path, you can’t ever complain about the hard days because that is what you choose. There is going to be difficulty in any path chosen in life. We all have to be able to vent. We all need validation and understanding”
If this person is brave enough to share their feelings with me, I need to be brave enough to admit that I was being insensitive in my Just Because I Choose Not to Have Kids, Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Get It post. I will completely own that it was insensitive with me. I apologize and that’s not the message I intended to get across. Let me explain…
The problem of writing when you are upset or hurt is that you often get so into your emotions that you have tunnel vision. The day I wrote that post, I was really hurt by an individual. I felt as though it was a personal attack on me. So when you get attacked what do you do? You attack back, without thinking about the outcomes. Did it make me feel better? At first. Am I still hurt? Yes I am. I am really hurt by it because that was a complete a-hole move of that person. But I guess my insensitivity was an a-hole move to the rest of the parents out there who didn’t have anything to do with the hurt I was given. So first fail in my blogging “career” occurred already. Yay for a mini controversy.
So to all my mamas & dadas out there, I know parenting is hard. I know some days you need to vent, or cry, or yell or just get away. I am so deeply sorry if I made you feel that you were not allowed to feel this way because you chose to have children. That was never my intention at all. I was just too caught up in my feelings that I took it out on the wrong people, ahem you all. Glad I took the time to check myself. Because I have a feeling I was on a lot of mama’s hit list.
Now all the other stuff, I still believe is true. Like how I still feel sadness, happiness, love, joy or pain, even though I don’t have kids. And lucky for you all, I have been crying over every freaking little thing these days…so feel free to pour your heart out to me. I love a good cry. I promise to be kind, supportive and validate your emotions and remind you, it’s all worth it because once upon a time, becoming a parent was a dream for you.
Also in the future, if you disagree with what I have to say, please do reach out. I am always open to hearing things from a different perspective. I don’t know it all and I am not too ignorant to listen to your perspective I promise 🙂
Note to self: Make sure you wait a few days to post after you write your “emotional” entry of the day.